Thunder Thighs And Heck Jenson's Miracle Boy

     I was told that when the mother was said to be having difficulty with the birth and that her whinnie was very faint, the message spread through the crowd in a hushed whisper that, she wasn’t gonna make it.  Most weren’t too worried about the mama, after all the next day she was scheduled to be sent to a factory somewhere over near Farmington, to be made into glue and to wigs.  No, what the crowd was surely gathered for was the child.  When Thunder Thighs, Heck Jenson’s favorite horse, became pregnant at such an old age the whole town had thought it was strange.  Nobody coulda’ foreseen however, what Ted Girk the veterinarian discovered upon his examination of ol’ Thunder Thighs.  Thunder Thighs was pregnant with a human boy.  Heck was shocked.  He began tellin’ everybody in town that there was a miracle baby coming, and that he was going to be born right there in his stable.  So, the whole town started buzzing with miracle fever.  They came to visit Thunder Thighs often during her pregnancy and combed her thick black hair for her, and stroked her saying: “Good girl Thunder Thighs, good girl.”

                Thunder Thighs began to stomp her big hooves kicking up dirt and mud and straw, while Doc Girk tried to calm her down and bob and weave to stay on Thunder Thighs’ business end, to catch the baby she was trying to force out.  By the time the boy’s blonde head started to show out of Thunder Thighs’ Hindquarters, she looked like she was about to keel over.  Keel over she did, and when she hit the ground with a great thunk, a naked eleven and a half year old boy with blonde hair and blue eyes shot outa’ her like a cork and slid across the stable in his own after-birth.  The crowd gathered was quieter than Dafford’s Cemetery at midnight.  They gawked at the boy and each other, and at Heck.  No one knowing what to do, Heck took of his jacket and threw it over the boy as he began to stir.  The boy stood up and pulled the jacket around him, slimy from head to toe with a hundred pair o’ eyes all staring at him.  It was at this point that Rabbi Schmulie Bogdonawitz extricated himself from the crowd and approached the boy.  The crowd looked and nodded and thought, yeah the Rabbi should be the one for the job.  The Rabbi said, “Hello, miracle boy!  And welcome to this modest stable of Heck Johnson’s in our humble town.  You truly are a blessing and a gift.  Mazel tov and L’chaim my young friend.”
The boy looked over the faces of the crowd before smiling and then saying.  “HOWDY YA’LL I am your lord and savior returned.  Ya’ll got some beans or anything because I been stuck up a horse’s ass since Christmas and boy howdy am I hungry.”  The crowd stared at the slimy, naked miracle.