BS

      People of Earth I have important news for you.  Today February 15^th, 2014, I Joseph Partington Coleburn have discovered a new Element.  I made this shocking discovery in the same way I make most of my discoveries by observing the wheelings and dealings of the humdrum everyday life of this post 9-11 world(I’ll never forget).  This Element is found everywhere and in everything.  I call it BULLSHITANIUM(BS).  This is actually the most dense of all the gaseous elements on the periodic table.  Its weight is nothing, because it has no actually substance or value.  While our society cannot subsist without it, it is astronomically useless.  Reality TV, 24 hour News Networks, and the Tea Party Movement are all products of its sublimation.  It is not radioactive, however it is extremely cancerous and unstable.  It is ever-changing and becoming more and more prevalent daily.  By the year 2015 our atmosphere will be 93.9 % BS.  There is nothing we can do.  In fact just like global warming it is in fact useless to even think about.  The Bullshitanium has already infected every single molecule on this planet.  Perhaps next time we shall do better.